The Empress's New Table

Once upon a time there lived an Empress.

She had traveled to many lands and lived in many castles while her husband campaigned for the Air Force.

During that time she done her duty very well and provided him with 4 heirs.

But that posed a problem...
Where to feed the residents of the Emperor's household?

The table was too small and was from back before he had conquered many dragons and obtained loot.

"This will not do", says the emperor to the fair lady who had stood by him through many campaigns, provided him with the children to carry on his name (literally), and faithfully served him.

So in honor of their eleventh year of wedded bliss he decreed that a new table be presented to the Empress.

But the day of the anniversary came and a plague was besieging the castle inhabitants so it was not to be.

But fear not, the noble grandparents Morgan enter to care for the imps, I mean prodigy, so there should be no delay in the quest to acquire the Empress's New Table.

The Emperor and Empress traveled long and far for about an hour to the land of Ikea.
Braving fierce downpours and blazing lightning they brought home treasure boxes that would lead to the fulfillment of the noble decree.

They all slept dreaming pleasant dreams knowing that soon the decree would be fulfilled.


The Next Day:


Behold the labor.



See the castle inhabitants toiling to create the Table.


All day they toiled.

When they had finished it was discovered they had looted the wrong table from the land of Ikea. It was too big.

Unfortunately the laws of the land of Ikea state that there shall be no returns of open boxes or built items.

A messenger was reached and a plea to correct the problem was made.
The return message was to return the item to the store and they would inspect it and then....
they could not say.
Really they could not say.

For all they knew they would be making a pointless journey only to have thier hopes and dreams and anniversary gift decapitated.

But the table was disassembled and the wisest members of the court were gathered to put the pieces back into the boxes. This feat was not for the weak minded or those impatient. Fortunately they packaged it neatly.

They packed the caravan and went to plead their case in the land of Ikea to the managerial leader.

The Emperor was convincing.

The work of the wise court was brilliant in their packaging and they were complimented on the excellent condition.

The Managerial leader agreed with the insight that it was better to get a smaller table rather than buy a bigger castle.
They gave us special Ikea money that is only good for trade in Ikea.

No problem.

The table to please the Empress was available for trade here so soon all would be triumphant.



The table they seek is missing from its shop.

The Empress went to the courier in Blue and Yellow and noble said, "Sir, the Bjursta table in not in its bin and the sign on it said to seek you". Well it was something like that.
"the spy system (Internet)said not more that 2 hours ago that you had 5 available
for trade".

He looks and says, "we are out of stock."
She laughs.

The empress laughs.

The poor Ikea man was probably concerned about the crazy female laughing at the bad news.
If he read my blog he would have been more frightened because he would have had confirmation that the Empress was crazy.

He took pity on her and told her that there would be 5 more for trade the next day. (He probably is calling off tomorrow just in case the crazy laughing Empress returns for the third day in a row.

So behold the Empresses New Table.

Yes it is invisible but don't tell her.